[ THISAVROU: INBOX ] MID messages & IC mail

[forwardmomentum]

I N B O X

IC Voice Mail "Personnel Officer Miles here. If this is a personal matter, leave a message; if it's ship business-related, may I direct you to the Personnel Office's suggestion box. Sending me a barrage of texts will not make me respond to you any faster, so don't, Ivan." Mun Contact PLURK:   runawayballista

Comments

[soldiergenes]

Pretty much.

[ Not having to outright lie, but not giving anything close to the full story. It's the easiest way to handle this kind of thing.

Miles' explanation is clinical enough that Snake can guess at how many times he's had to tell this tale. It's a pretty gruesome one, but Snake doesn't flinch at it. He's lived a life of assassination attempts, even ended up head-to-head with his own brother. Tragedies like these go hand-in-hand with war. ]

Your mother isn't the type to give up, is she? I'm guessing you took after her in that respect.

[forwardmomentum]

You don't know the half of it. Barrayar's a hard pill to swallow for most galactics, but my mother seems to have found a way to exist outside of the Vor system entirely. She's frighteningly brilliant -- used to be an astrophysicist and Survey captain, you know, before she married my father -- so practical it makes the rest of us look like fools, and unnervingly direct. She got so fed up with Vor politics that once, she ended a civil war just to retrieve my uterine replicator. Took the head of the pretender to the Imperium in a boutique bag back to my father and his council and told them she'd gone shopping. I'm told the look on my grandfather's face was priceless. She's also the kindest and most compassionate woman I've ever known. Half the planet is terrified of her.

Of course, half the planet's terrified of my father, too, and the really smart ones are terrified of both.

[soldiergenes]

[ Wow, he really goes on and on, doesn't he? Snake may not know all the terms and the place names, but Miles still makes his point crystal clear. Maybe there isn't as much resentment here as he might have expected. His mother had ended a war to save his life, after all.

It's always bizarre, having other people tell him about their families. It's not like he has any similar information to share. Sure, there are countless tales about Big Boss, but Snake doesn't feel the sort of pride that someone else would for his father. Not when he wasn't raised by him, and not with how things ended. ]

Are they terrified of you, too?

[ The answer is "probably not," but Snake still wants to hear what Miles comes up with. ]

[forwardmomentum]

[ yes, snake, he does go on and on. you'll get used to it. you really don't have any choice. ]

On Barrayar, you mean? Mutant-paranoid Barrayar, where infanticide on babies with perceivable birth defects was still common practice not two generations ago? My own grandfather made a couple of attempts on my life in order to dispose of what he saw as a defective child, unsuitable to inherit the countship of my father's district. They're afraid of me like you'd be afraid of a disease, if they're afraid of me at all.

Most of them just underestimate me.

[soldiergenes]

[ Snake's managed to touch on every sore spot in this text conversation, hasn't he? Not that he particularly minds, or feels that guilty. It's teaching him a lot about Miles, that's for sure. ]

That can't have been an easy way to grow up.

But it sounds like you've done pretty well for yourself despite that.

[ Only a courier, maybe, but given the physical disadvantages he has, it's impressive. ]

[forwardmomentum]

I've worked hard for it.

[ that's the most important thing, sometimes, that they all know he did it himself. that none of it was because he's the son of the prime minister and former lord regent, of that vorkosigan. none of it was born of nepotism. miles has never had anything handed to him except an opportunity to prove himself.

someday, just once, he'd like to see a book refer to aral vorosigan as miles' vorkosigan's father instead of the other way around. ]

[soldiergenes]

[ Snake picks up on the implication there. Miles hadn't been given an easy out because of his position as the son of a famous soldier. With the way the rest of his people had viewed him, he'd probably had to work even harder to get as far as he did.

And don't worry, Miles. Snake has to do a lot of work to distance himself from his father's legacy, too. ]

This ship may be a floating prison, but I'm guessing you've had less people comparing you to your father or looking at you like you're some kind of monstrosity.

[forwardmomentum]

anything, anyone. For some of us, a second chance. And for some of us, it's a chance to serve, to help, because however things came about, you can't deny that there's a greater good to be worked toward here. If not for one's own sake, then for everyone else's. We all want to get to where we're going, and there's nowhere else to go. For better or worse, we're all in this together. We might as well make an adventure out of it than a trial.

But yeah, you're right. On a ship with aliens, dragons, and the occasional god, not many people bother to look twice at a half-crippled mutie.

[ that's in self-deprecation more than anything else; miles has always resented the kneejerk assumption that his physical deformities are genetic. but it amounts to more or less the same thing in the end. J almost certainly didn't care why he looks the way he does. it's enough for her that he looks like this. ]

It was a welcome break, yes. But with this book apparently circulating around the ship now, I doubt it'll last.

[soldiergenes]

[ Honestly, Miles is right. They're stuck in this situation whether they asked for it or not. Snake complains about it, but he's done his job as asked and hasn't thrown up too much of a fuss for the very reasons that Miles cites. He still doesn't trust any of the captains, but right now this ship is their only ticket home. So they have to cooperate.

It doesn't leave a good taste in his mouth, but it is what it is. ]

It's just a book. It might be a good read, I haven't cracked it open yet, but it doesn't change anything about you.

[ Is he going to do this? Apparently he's going to do this. Snake sighs to himself and sends a follow-up text. ]

My biological father was a legendary soldier too. It doesn't mean I'm not my own person.

[ Granted, he hadn't had it hanging over him throughout his entire childhood, so that's probably helped Snake make the clean break that he has from that legacy. ]

[forwardmomentum]

About me? You're right, it doesn't change a thing. It all happened long before I was even born. But perception is everything. I'm sure you've run into that very same distinction yourself.

[soldiergenes]

Yeah. I think the best solution is acting like it isn't there. If you refuse to acknowledge it, eventually people stop bringing it up.